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February 19th, 2018

Title: The Road to Good is Paved with Hellish Intentions
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Becoming Batman is inevitable. Tim just wishes his younger self would understand that. (Tumblr Made-up Title Prompt)

His younger self won’t listen. It’s a lost cause, and Tim knows it. After all, a long time ago he was that version of himself. His younger self will fight him…fight becoming him, and he’ll lose. Tim knows this, too, because he knows that there’s no way to stop this. After all, he’s been there…done all the steps, fought and failed, and still, he’s here now. One day his younger self will see the truth. He’ll become just like him. It’s inevitable. After all, there’s no way to end all of the pain that the boy has yet to endure, nor is there any way for this current version of Tim to go back to the way that things used to be.

There truly is only one path for both of them. He just wishes that his younger self could see that sooner rather than later, but he knows himself well enough to know that the boy will just have to get through it the same way that he did. Still, Tim wishes that the boy could understand that sometimes there are no other options…not if he wants to succeed. The road to good is paved with hellish intentions and the two of them are the only ones strong enough to see that and become what is necessary.

The boy will learn in time, and it will nearly destroy him, but Tim knows that the boy will eventually reach the same conclusion that he has. After all, they are one in the same, no matter what his younger self currently believes. Tim has spent his entire life becoming what everyone else needs, even when the very people he’s changed for believed otherwise. His younger self knows that, even now. What he doesn’t realize, however, is that one day in order to become what others need…what Gotham needs…what his family needs, he will become the very man who stands before him now.

Tim has no way to show his younger self this simple truth, and he’s already lived one lifetime of running away from what he already knows, so he sees no reason to waste his time here. After all, the circumstances that created the need for who Tim currently is will happen no matter how much Tim tries to stop them. He knows this from personal experience, but he doesn’t have the time to convince his younger self of that…not that he believes that he could.

The only thing that Tim can do now is hope that his younger self learns to adapt quicker than he did and he doesn’t bother to cling to his former self for as long. Still, Tim knows that the hope is in vain. After all, he remembers how desperately he clung to who he used to be every time that he’s changed himself to suit others needs. The transition is never easy, and becoming Batman was certainly no different.

In fact, it was the hardest decision that he’s ever made. He had to relinquish a fight that he had been having for years and it left him more broken than he wants to admit, even now, but none of that is relevant at the moment. Right now, there’s really only one thing that his younger self needs to understand before they run out of time. “I am inevitable and what is necessary. One day you will understand that.” Fortunately, incapacitating his younger self will buy him enough time to succeed where others have failed. “You will one day see the reason behind all of this…the need for what I’m about to do. Word of advice from your future self; don’t hold onto what you know you can’t keep.” He leaves, knowing that those words will stick in the younger’s mind for a long time to come. After all, he still repeats them daily.

The End

Fic: Can't Go Home Again

Title: Can't Go Home Again
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Tim has made his choice and he knows there's no going back now. (Tumblr Made-up Title Prompt)

It’s something that has been a long time coming, but knowing that doesn’t change the pain that Tim feels as he walks away. Unfortunately, he knew his place here was tentative at best, and now more than ever it’s clear that leaving the manor…leaving home is the best option for everyone. He hasn’t felt welcome here in a long time, and Tim doesn’t know if that’s necessarily anyone’s fault, but his own. Sure, Damian is still Damian and he makes it abundantly clear that Tim is no longer needed or wanted here every time that Tim has the misfortune of running into to the demon brat, but it doesn’t change the fact that Tim’s inability to simply ignore it and deal is the real problem.

Tim’s entire life has been a series of becoming what others need him to be and letting go of the things that prevent him from becoming those things, so he doesn’t know why he can’t manage to do the same thing here. However, Tim thinks maybe it’s for the best this time. After all, he becomes what they need…and it’s clear whatever they currently need isn’t Tim anymore. At least, not any version of him that he’s willing to become.

Tim wants to blame his unwillingness on the still ever present chasm between Dick and him. After all, it was a lot easier to shove everything down and pretend everything was okay when Dick didn’t fall for it and, more importantly, wouldn’t force him to do it like everyone else. However, Tim accepted a long time ago that Dick and he would never be able to get back what they’ve lost, nor would they ever be as close as they once were, so that’s not exactly Tim’s reasoning for leaving, either.

No, in fact, Tim’s reasons for leaving, and more importantly, never returning is because spending time in the manor or, more specifically, with everyone inhabiting it at the moment does nothing but cause him pain. The person that he wants to be slips away, and suddenly, he’s left with nothing but an empty shell of someone who can’t seem to move on from all of the anger and distrust that he feels. The constant fighting doesn’t help anything either, and Tim knows that he’s just as much to blame for that as Damian is, so he honestly has no choice but to leave.

Besides, it’s clear to see that Bruce has enough former sidekicks to deal with. He doesn’t need the added stress of Tim’s problems heaped onto his shoulders as well. Tim is nothing if not resourceful. He can deal with his problems on his own, and perhaps remember what it was like not to be constantly tense and preparing for a fight in his own home. Tim sighs to himself as he gives the manor one last glance before he leaves. He tries to remind himself that it doesn’t matter that he can never go home again after this, because he’ll have a new one soon. A new home, a new name, and new life…it should feel exhilarating. Instead, it just feels empty…just as it did when he first hatched this plan. Still, it’s what he has to do. It’s what’s best for everyone…or so he keeps telling himself.

Tim’s not entirely certain if he believes that his current plan is the only option, but it’s the one that will ensure that he escapes with minimal damage and things won’t continue on the way that they have been for any of them. After all, Tim knows that he can’t be the only one fed up with the way things are. He’s just the only one willing to do something about it.

They’ll search for him, Tim knows that, but it won’t be until after they’ve heard the news, which gives Tim time. He has plans in place for all of that, but timing is everything. After all, in a matter of hours, Tim Drake will officially die, and then they’ll all be free to move on…even him. Perhaps, it’s not what any of them want…not even Tim, but it’s what they need, and there’s nothing that Tim won’t do to give them that. After all, Tim’s made a career out of being and giving what people need, and this time is no different.

The End