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Fic: Trapped Chapter 4

Title: Trapped
Author: Brokaw22
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: He can't speak, can't call out--can't even move. He tries anyway; it doesn't work.
Thanks to Kathy for beta work.

Previous Chapters: Chapter One  Chapter Two Chapter Three

Next Chapter: Chapter Five

For the first time ever, Tim is actually happy that he can't move and can't breathe on his own. He doesn't want the other two to know how much he absolutely hates this plan, and how angry he is that they're left with this option. He may not remember everything, but Tim feels certain that there isn't a scenario in the world that would make him okay with this choice. At least, from what they've explained to him, this doesn't sound like a good thing. However, he's already resigned himself to the fact that he has to do this, and not just for himself.

He can tell what his condition is doing to the other two, and Tim doesn't like it. They're exhausted and it's weighing heavily on both of their emotional states. Tim is grateful that, in addition to whatever else they do in their day, both of them have made a great effort to make sure that at least one of them is with him every second that he's awake--which is why Tim often lowers his heartbeat to his resting rate and makes them think that he's sleeping when he's not. It's the least that he can do, given everything they've already done and everything that they're about to do for him.

He knows that they are both leaving a huge piece out of this plan, but he doesn't want to be more of a burden to them than he already is. There's no reason for him to make things harder on them just because they don't feel comfortable with telling him everything. He's sure that they have their reasons. Tim wishes that he could remember everything from before...including what happened to him, because then, maybe he could understand why he's been left in this state. He doesn't like not knowing. Dick comes back into the room after being gone for some time. Tim can't tell how long, but he's happy that at least he can tell who's in the room with him from their footsteps. Jason's are heavier and always seem to be dragging a little. Dick's are lighter, and he doesn't shuffle his feet as much as Jason does.

He comes over and places his hand on Tim's shoulder, and not for the first time, Tim wishes that he could smile or say thank you. “Hey, Timmy. I'm back. I didn't mean to leave you alone so long, but I had to get a few things straightened out with Jason. I mean, you know how he is.”

Tim drops his heartbeat down to signal no, and he notices Dick tightening his grip slightly. “Man, I wish I could ask you to explain what you mean, little brother. I've never been very good at interpreting you, and now...well, it's not easy. Does that mean you don't remember much from before?”

Tim raises his heartbeat to signal yes. Dick sighs. “Oh, I...I didn't even think that you wouldn't...oh man...how the hell am I supposed to ask you what you remember?”

Tim wants to tell him to just start talking...to tell him everything, even if it hurts, even if it's bad, because this--not knowing--is so much worse. They haven't really worked out anything beyond yes and no, however, so Tim has no idea how he's supposed to make himself clear. Suddenly, Dick's hand leaves his shoulder, but before Tim can panic, there's the sound of something being moved on carpet, and then Dick's hand is on his wrist. It takes Tim a second to realize that Dick was just sitting down.

“I guess I could just start asking questions.”

Tim raises his heart beat again. He wants to scream 'yes' over and over again, but that's the best that he can do.

“Okay, I think I should start with the basics. Before we started using your name all of the time, did you know what it was...did you remember it?”

Tim lowers his heart rate, and Dick sighs. “God, I'm sorry, little brother. Timmy...I call you Timmy. You don't really like it, but you let me, because I'm needy.”

Tim wants to laugh. He doesn't think that he hates the name Timmy, but he can't really say that he would want everyone to call him that. He hopes that Dick knows that...knows that he doesn't just let him call him that because he's needy, but because he likes it when Dick does.

“Okay, um, I'm going to assume that you don't remember being Robin, then, right?”

Tim lowers his heart rate again, and then raises it. He wishes that he could shrug and say, 'sort of', because he does a little. At least, he thinks that he does. The name seems familiar and important the way nothing else really does. He dreams of birds with red breasts and bats and he knows these things are connected. He just doesn't know how yet.

Dick apparently is aware that's he's been trying to convey something, because he taps Tim's wrist with his fingers a few times, as though to get his attention. “Okay, I'm going to take that response as a maybe or somewhat.” Dick heaves a large sigh, as though he's preparing himself for something, and then wraps his hand around Tim's wrist again. “Tim, do you know what a Lazarus Pit is?”

He wants to say it's something bad, because so far, that's the impression that he's been getting from them, but the only thing that he can do is lower and raise his heart beat again. “Okay, I'm guessing that's another sort of, right?”

Tim raises his heart rate again. “All right, well, I'll have Jason explain it to you in a little more detail then. After all, this is his plan and he knows more about Lazarus Pits than I do.”

Tim can tell by Dick's tone that that was some kind of joke, and he wishes that he could understand it. He's sure that it's probably funny...or maybe not. Sometimes Dick makes jokes that Tim can understand, but they make him want to groan instead of laugh. He's not sure if that's normal or not, but it seems to be normal for Dick, since sometimes he does it in front of Jason, who does groan.

Dick slides his hand down into Tim's and squeezes a few times before he asks his next question. “Tim, do you remember Bruce?”

Tim doesn't know how to answer that one. He remembers the name. He dreams about someone named Bruce sometimes, and he knows this person is connected to all of his other significant dreams, but he doesn't really remember things about this person. He raises and then lowers his heart rate once again to signal kind of.

Dick's grip on his hand strengths again for a moment. “Okay, so you sort of remember him. That's okay. Hopefully once Jason finishes finalizing his plan, and we get you better, then your memory will come back, too.” The word plan comes out harsh and bitter. Tim gets the impression that Dick's not happy, and not just with the plan itself, but with Jason.

“Anyway, do you remember Alfred?”

The moment Tim hears the name an image of an older man in perfectly pressed suit comes to mind. He remembers cookies, and biscuits, and all kinds of delicious food, and the best coffee ever. He also remembers long discussions about all different matters, and always feeling better after talking to the old man. Tim raises his heart beat again, because he can't ever imagine forgetting Alfred.

Dick laughs and gives him a hug. “No one can forget Alfie, right, Tim?”

Tim feels better than he has in a long time, and he wishes that he could tell Dick that, but all he can do is enjoy the warmth of the embrace for as long as it lasts. He reminds himself of all of the things he has to say to Dick and Jason once he's better, and, not for the first time, he wishes that he could write it all down.

The End (for now)